“If only I could see me as You see me.
And understand the way that I am loved…“

Mandisa

Sometimes, all you really need is to see yourself through the eyes of those who love you.

Last year, my sister sent me the link to a lady’s Instagram profile and told me that this person always makes her think of me whenever she views her photos and videos. I went to check it out and I was frankly bewildered.

The lady in question had this beautiful, long, African, black hair thingy going, with cute kids and matching outfits for the entire family. It was the same in all her photos, all dazzling smiles under brilliant Texas sun.

Wow!

I went back to my chat with my sister and shared my sentiments; “This lady and her family look so lovely!”

“Exactly! She gives me your vibes – the way you enjoy life, the way you are with your family. No exaggeration…”

Wait, what?!

When I realized how serious my sister was, guess what I did. I stopped arguing. I simply went back to Instagram and hit Follow on the lady’s profile, lol. And so far, her photos, reels and entire energy have been so enjoyable to look at; I have no regrets whatsoever.

The impression that left on me was how my sibling thought of me. Because she’s been close to me for a long time, I can objectively take her word for it. But from my surprise, you can easily tell that I sure did not give myself as much credit as my sister does.

Maybe her perception was clouded by her love for me. Maybe mine was clouded by self-imposed or society-imposed expectations.

Whatever the cause, it sure does a greater good to sometimes assess life from the kinder lens of our loved ones.

It’s been some 7 weeks since Christmas but I wonder if anyone remembers the classic movie, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” As much as I love the lyrical masterpiece “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch,” it saddened me to note that the song was actually sang by Mr. Grinch himself. Yes, his childhood classmates were mean in the way they spoke to him at the beginning but the problem (in my opinion) was how he accepted and even embodied their harsh opinions until it became his curse and the bane of his existence!

Self-talk. What do you think of yourself? What does the voice in your head say about you?

It’s tough, I know. And that is why we will sometimes rely on those who want our best interests to help us clear the fog and see things right.

Sometimes, we are not “there” yet but we’ve got potential. Earlier this week, I was on a call with a service provider. She’s been in communication with me for the past couple months as we work on getting me set up for the service they offer and she just said to me, “You are a very organized person!” I chuckled self-depreciatingly and said, “You are probably only saying that because of the thousand and one questions I have been asking you.” Honestly, in that moment, I was thinking of the improved filing system that I desperately need to establish in my personal space. But she insisted, “No. You are very organized.” I paused. Then I told her, “It is very kind of you to tell me that and you know what? I’m taking it. Thank you so much for saying it to me.”

This is another reason why we will sometimes need to borrow others’ lenses. They see all that we can become from our expression in a specific area. If we believe it even in the face of our shortcomings, we can be sure that our future endeavours could be a little easier for us to handle. If someone else thinks I can, I most definitely can!

Tuesday was Valentine’s Day and hopefully you received some nice words from loved ones. Well, this post is mostly for those who probably didn’t get any sweet words, and those who got some sweet gesture but whose self-image has become so affected that deep down, they no longer assimilate or believe any compliments they receive.

You gotta get past the fog. Do all it takes to get past that fog.

Overcoming Negative Self-Image

1. Experts have suggested that we should save images/documents when we receive commendations from our bosses or people whose opinions we respect. Then, on the days when we doubt our skills or abilities, those can be timely morale boosters. I think it’s a great idea; it definitely trumps how our minds tend to dwell on the opinions of destructive critics and discouragers.

2. The second solution is that we need to constantly renew/recalibrate/reconfigure our minds until our self-image and self-talk align with our Creator’s design. In other words, restore factory settings.

What does God say about you?

• You are loved.
• You are beautiful/handsome.
• You are gifted.
• You, your personality, your expression is worth ooh-ahh-ing at. (You’re marvelous)
• You are very special; unique. No one can offer stuff the way that you do.
• God is extremely fond of and proud of you. (You are the apple of God’s eyes.)
• God is always thinking about you, your welfare, your betterment.
• God cares about you.
• You have what it takes to excel in this world.
• Your near future will be way better than your present.

I could go on and on.

But the real question is; “Do you believe these? Does your heart accept all 10 above as your truth?

If no, then this post tasks you with an assignment from today. You can choose how long you carry out the assignment for – 1 week, 3 weeks, 6 weeks.

Read the bible verses below. Read them slowly, over and over again. Mutter them under your breath. Write them on post-its. Stick them on your desk or refrigerator. Leave them in your journal. Pray with them. Declare them over yourself. RECALIBRATE YOUR MIND.

Ephesians 3:17-19; Jeremiah 31:3; Psalms 139:14; Isaiah 49:15-16; 1 Peter 5:7; Jeremiah 29:11.

3. A last solution to overcoming defeating self-image is remembering past achievements; borrowing the lenses of the past. Someone needs to go pick up a former school result to remind themselves that their brain is hot! 🔥😘 Someone needs to go back to a product they released a few months/years ago. Young David in the Bible told Goliath; “I have defeated a lion before. I dealt with a bear in the past. And those are all the assurance that I need to deal with you giant today!”

This is so exciting!

Exceller friend, we will do everything it takes – borrow a loved one’s lens, borrow the lenses of the pleasant past, borrow the lens of a supervisor, borrow God’s lenses. We only need to ensure that we are deliberate in choosing the lenses. And then, we dwell on those thoughts. Because we must see the beauty in front of us. I am persuaded that if we stay with it, we may not need to borrow those lenses for too long before our eyes become full of light.